She asked him to divorce her if he takes a second wife

My wife and i have discused me having a second wife and she sayes that if i do then she would devorse me.we did not get married by the kafirs but we do have a islamic contract. and there was no agreement on that contract forbiding me from taking a second wife.so my question is .Is it permisable for her to deny me this?And is'nt she making the hallal harram on me. my wife is a good muslimah (I.S.A.) and she would respect a answer whith proof. jazallahkum ma lakair

Praise be to Allaah. 

If a man is able to marry a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to take a second wife, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]

And this was the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and of his Companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), but apart from the Prophet, no one is permitted to have more than four wives.

It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the  best of righteous women, the Sahaabiyyaat, and even in the Mothers of the Believers [the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allaah has prescribed, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. According to a hadeeth whose authenticity is agreed upon, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever pays attention to his brother’s needs, Allaah will pay attention to his needs.”

The first wife’s consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about this and replied as follows:

“It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will reduce the hurt which women naturally feel in such situations. This is done by being kind to her and speaking to her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and by spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.”

Concerning her request for divorce if her husband wants to marry another wife, this is a mistake. But they should examine the situation, and if she really cannot cope with living with another wife, then she can ask him for khula’ [ a kind of divorce instigated by the wife, whereby she forgoes the mahr]. If she can cope with living with the second wife, but it hurts her to do so, then she should be patient and seek the pleasure of Allaah. Thawbaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“No woman asks her husband for a divorce for no reason, but the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden for her.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood and others, and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him).

If she bears it with patience, then Allaah will make it easier for her and will expand her chest (i.e., grant her peace and calm), and will compensate her with something good. The husband must also help her by treating her kindly, being patient with her for any jealousy etc. on her part, and overlooking her mistakes. And Allaah is the source of help.

She does not want to live with her husband’s family

I live with my inlaws for last 7 years, I dont get along with my father inlaw, I have asked my husband to move out from them. He is very hurt on this matter, He says he cannot live without his parents, and its hard for me to live with his parents and his younger brother, am i asking too much. What does islam role says on this. Please answer me ASAP. I am desperate to move out, But I like my husband to be happy with me also.

Praise be to Allaah. 

Firstly:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against the husband’s relatives who are not mahrams to the wife entering upon her. It was reported from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?” he said: “The brother-in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172). 

It is not permissible for her to be alone with any of her in-laws except those who are so young that there is no fear that they will tempt her or be tempted by her.

 Secondly:

The husband must provide his wife with a dwelling place that will conceal her from the eyes of people and protect her from heat and cold, where she can live and settle and be independent. Whatever meets her needs is sufficient, such as a room in good condition with a kitchen and bathroom – unless the wife has stipulated larger accommodation in her marriage contract. He does not have the right to make her eat with any of her in-laws. The kind of accommodation provided must be commensurate with what the husband is able to provide and be suitable according to local custom (‘urf) and the social level of the wife.

 (a)   Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

He has to provide her with accommodation according to his means, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]

 (al-Muhallaa, 9/253).

 (b)  Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

She (the wife) is entitled to accommodation because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them …” [al-Talaaq 65:6]

If it is obligatory to provide lodgings for a divorced wife, then it is even more appropriate that lodgings should be provided for one who is still married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… and live with them honourably…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]. Part of that means providing them with accommodation, because she cannot do without proper accommodation to conceal her from people’s eyes and so that she may go about her business, relax and her keep her belongings in order.

(al-Mughni, 9/237)

(c)  Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or another  relative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own… But if he lodges her in a room of the house that has a door of its own, this is sufficient for her and she should not ask him for alternative accommodation, because the harm caused by fear for her belongings and not being able to relax is no longer there. (Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 4/23)

(d)  Ibn Qudaamah also said:

A man does not have the right to make two wives live in the same dwelling without their consent, regardless of whether the house is large or small, because this will cause them harm due to the enmity and jealousy between them. Making them live together will cause conflict and each of them will be able to hear when the husband spends time with (has marital relations with) the other or she will see that. If they both agree (to live together in one house), this is permissible because they have the right to do to ask for independent accommodation, or they may choose to forgo this right. (al-Mughni, 8/137)

He did not mean that it is OK for the husband to have marital relations with one where the other can see and hear that; what he meant was that it is permissible for them to live in one house, where (the husband) can come to each of them on her night in a place in the house where the other cannot see her.

If he can give each wife a part of the house with a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, this will be sufficient. Similarly, he could give each wife a separate house or apartment.

Al-Haskafi (may Allaah have mercy on him) – one of the Hanafis – said: Similarly, she is entitled to a place in the house that is free of his family and her family according to their means, as is the case with food and clothing. A separated part of the house with a door of its own and facilities such as a bathroom and kitchen will be sufficient for the intended purpose.

Ibn ‘Aabideen commented:

What is meant by “a bathroom and kitchen” is bathroom facilities and a place for cooking that should be within the room or in a place which is not shared by any other family members.

(al-Durr al-Mukhtaar, 3/599-600)

I say: what indicates that what is meant by “house” [bayt – literally, “house”, translated above as “room”] is a room is the comment of al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him): If the house has rooms, a room should be allocated to her and given its own door. They said: she does not have the right to ask him for alternative accommodation.

(Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 4/34)

On this basis, it is permissible for him to accommodate you in a room of the house that has its own facilities, so long as there is no fitnah (temptation) or being alone with any non-mahrams who have reached the age of puberty. He does not have the right to force you to work for them in the house or to eat and drink with them. If he is able to provide you with accommodation that is completely separate from his family, that will be better for you, but if his parents are elderly and need him, and they have no one else to serve them and the only way he can serve them is by living with them, then he has to do that.

Finally, we urge you to be patient and to strive to please your husband and to help him to honour and be kind to his family as much as possible until Allaah grants you a way out. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

If she calls her husband to bed and he refuses

Somre sisters ask the following question:
We hear the hadeeth that if a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, then the angels curse her until morning. The question is, what if the wife calls the husband to bed and he refuses?

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for a man to forsake his wife and thus harm her, except in the case of nushooz (rebellion) and disobedience. But he is not committing a sin if he does not lie with her without intending to harm her, because the need is his and depends on his desire and he cannot control his desire at will. If he forsakes her, then he is a sinner because there should be no harming or reciprocating harm. And Allaah knows best.

Woman goes out to gatherings of dhikr without permission

A woman is asking: what is the ruling on my going to the mosque or to a gathering of dhikr in a Muslim’s house for da’wah or to learn, without my father’s permission? If he knew about it he would stop me from going, but eemaan (faith) wears out just as clothes wear out, and I need to renew my faith because I am in an environment that is filled with munkaraat (undesirable things). Is it permissible for me to go in secret or what?

  Praise be to Allaah. 

Before marriage, a woman is under the guardianship of her father, so it is not permissible for her to go out of the house except with his permission, whether it is to go to the mosque or elsewhere, because obedience to one’s father is obligatory so long as it does not involve disobedience towards Allaah. We advise you to listen to broadcasts from the Al-Qur’aan Al-Kareem station, because there is much knowledge and sound teaching to be gained from it. They have a program called “Noor ‘ala’l-Darb (Light on the Way)” in which a group of scholars answer questions from listeners. May Allaah help you to do all that is good and grant you a sound understanding of Islam.

Being absent from one’s wife for more than six months

I'm getting married back home , but unfortunately I will not be able to bring her to this country because I,m student. I know a Hadith where Omar ibn Alkhatab (RAA)- if I,m right - said that husband and wife must not be way from each other for more than six months. Unfortunately , I will only be able to comeback after a year minumum. Am I allowed to do that using the islaamic principal "necessity dictates exception".

Praise be to Allaah.

If your wife accepts your being away for this length of time, then there is nothing wrong with it. May Allaah bless us and you with all strength and goodness.

After Years of Decline, Polio Cases in Afghanistan Triple in a Year

In a country where insurgents have for years attacked and killed people working for the government or the international community, a small army of vaccination teams connected to both has, year after year, fanned out through some of Afghanistan’s most dangerous areas, quietly and mostly safely.

Appointed by the government, paid for by international agencies and given free passage by the Taliban in one of the last three countries in the world where polio is endemic, the Global Polio Eradication Initiative’s 65,000 volunteers and workers had seemed to have nearly wiped out the disease — until recently.

After years of steady decline, only 25 polio cases were reported in the country in 2010, prompting one international health care official to declare that “the Afghans are heroes.” Then last year, the number tripled to 76, the Afghan Ministry of Public Health said. While the total remains small, polio is highly contagious, and health experts say that each detected case is an indicator of hundreds of “silent” ones, mainly children with mild infections who become carriers.

Health workers are alarmed at the reversal of what has been a local and worldwide trend — particularly since some of the cases erupted far outside the disease’s traditional areas in Afghanistan.

“This is a national tragedy to end up with a major polio outbreak, especially with all the effort they have put into it,” said Dr. Bruce Aylward, the polio coordinator for the World Health Organization. “It increases the risk to neighboring countries and is both a local and national, and international, concern.”

President Hamid Karzai, in a statement, in effect blamed the Taliban. “Those who stand in the way of vaccination are the true enemies of our children’s future,” he said, calling on “the armed opposition to allow the vaccination teams to help save children against the lifetime paralysis.”

Health care officials said they had experienced no change in the militants’ tolerance for the vaccination efforts, and the Taliban reacted indignantly. “It is not for Karzai to ask us to attack or not to attack someone,” said the Taliban’s southern Afghanistan spokesman, Qari Yousaf Ahmadi.

Mr. Ahmadi said there had been no change in Taliban policy toward polio vaccination teams. “We have never attacked medical teams, as long as they coordinate with us when they enter areas under our control,” he said.

After decades of worldwide immunization efforts, polio is now considered endemic only to Afghanistan and neighboring Pakistan, where cases also increased drastically last year, and in northern Nigeria. India, long a center of the disease, last week celebrated its first full year with no new cases, the World Health Organization reported.

“It has been a huge achievement,” Vidhya Ganesh, Unicef’s deputy representative in Afghanistan, said of the worldwide effort. Unicef and the World Health Organization oversee the $32 million eradication campaign in Afghanistan. “If polio were to be eradicated, it would be only the second disease ever,” she said. The last case of smallpox, the first human disease believed to be successfully eradicated, was diagnosed in 1977.

Ahmad Azadi, a spokesman for the World Health Organization here, said, “At only 25 cases, you could almost smell the victory.”

Peter Crowley, Unicef’s country representative in Afghanistan, said security was a factor in the rising number of cases, “but it is not the only factor.”

In Afghanistan, polio has traditionally been concentrated in the Pashtun belt across southern Afghanistan — some of the most dangerous areas of conflict in the country. Last year, however, cases also emerged in northern, central and eastern parts of Afghanistan, apparently spread by travelers or refugees from endemic areas in Pakistan.

One of Pakistan’s major polio areas is the Pashtun tribal region contiguous with Afghanistan’s. Just as a porous, rugged border has allowed the infiltration of insurgents, it has also provided pathways for the spread of polio.

New polio cases in Pakistan rose to 192 in 2011 from 80 in 2010, said Muhammed Taufiq Mashal, the director general of preventive medicine in the Afghan Ministry of Public Health. He blames much of the polio increase on infiltration from Pakistan, which World Health Organization scientists say is confirmed by gene sequencing of the virus in victims.

While some extremist Muslim leaders in Pakistan and Nigeria have denounced vaccination programs as a Western conspiracy, that has not been the case with the Taliban. Many polio vaccination teams carry a letter bearing the signature of the Taliban leader, Mullah Muhammad Omar, approving of their work.

Those who saw Mr. Karzai’s statement as politicizing the issue were sharply critical.

“I was very shocked when I read the president’s statement,” said an international health official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of his agency’s rules about criticizing a host country’s government. “Politicizing this issue is alarming. Health is not a political thing.”

A Western official speaking anonymously said, “The reason polio vaccination teams have been able to operate is because they’re allowed to operate.”

Naqibullah Faieq, who leads the health committee in the Afghan Parliament, said, “This health issue is nonpolitical, nonmilitary.” He added, “We want both the government and the Taliban to not use the issue of vaccination in their speeches.”

The World Health Organization is expected this week to declare increases in polio cases a “global public health emergency,” Dr. Aylward said. He said that the eradication program in Afghanistan remained effective, and that authorities on all sides seemed determined to make it work.

Still, he said, “anytime you see a three-fold increase in an epidemic-prone disease, you’ve got to be concerned about it.”

Canada Accuses Naval Officer of Sharing State Secrets

OTTAWA — A Canadian naval officer who worked in some of the country’s key military intelligence centers has been charged with breach of trust and passing along government secrets to a “foreign entity.” The officer, Sub-Lt. Jeffrey Paul Delisle, 40, remained in jail on Tuesday after his lawyer asked a court in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to delay a bail hearing to give him more time to study the government’s case.

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Andrew Vaughan/The Canadian Press, via Associated Press

Sub-Lt. Jeffrey Paul Delisle, 40, was escorted from court on Tuesday in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

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Neither the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the military nor the government offered much detail publicly about the charges, including the identity of the foreign power. But the Canadian television network CTV said it was Russia, without giving the source for that information.

Court documents assert that the spying began four and a half years ago and continued until last Friday, when intelligence and police officials raided Lieutenant Delisle’s house in suburban Halifax.

Until last week, Lieutenant Delisle worked at Trinity, an intelligence and communication center that is part of a large naval base in Halifax. Philippe Lagassé, who teaches defense policy at the Graduate School of Public and International Affairs of the University of Ottawa, said Trinity was primarily responsible for tracking the position of military ships in the Atlantic Ocean, including submarines.

According to several Canadian news reports, Lieutenant Delisle once worked in the main clearinghouse for military intelligence at the headquarters of the Department of National Defense in Ottawa, as well as its top operational planning unit in nearby Kingston, Ontario.

Canada’s defense minister, Peter MacKay, would not answer questions about the possibility of Russia’s involvement. “I am not going to play Clue,” he told reporters in Ottawa, adding that despite the episode, “our allies have full confidence in Canada, full confidence in our information.” Officials of the Russian government would not comment.

In a statement, Bob Paulson, the commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, said the force was “not aware of any threat to public safety at this time from this situation.” Speaking hours after the police statement was released, however, Mr. MacKay said at a news conference that it was still too early to determine that. “Those are issues that will be determined in the future,” he told reporters.

At the courthouse in Halifax, Lieutenant Delisle’s lawyer, Cameron MacKeen, would not say how his client intended to plead to one charge of breach of trust under Canada’s criminal laws and two charges under the Security of Information Act. The lieutenant is the first person to be charged under the security law, which replaced an earlier Official Secrets Act and carries a maximum penalty of life in prison.

“People have to realize that there’s a presumption of innocence in this country,” Mr. MacKeen said in his brief remarks to reporters. The exact nature of the suspected spying as well as Lieutenant Delisle’s possible motivation are unclear.

Wesley K. Wark, an intelligence specialist at the Munk School of Global Affairs at the University of Toronto, said sub-lieutenant was a relatively low rank for a 40-year-old officer, suggesting that he had little career success. “That raises questions about career disappointment and revenge,” he said.

Despite the government’s initial efforts to play down the seriousness of the arrest, Professor Wark said Lieutenant Delisle probably had access to a wide range of secrets given his job history.

“The rank doesn’t matter,” he said. “The security clearance matters.” He and Professor Lagassé said the places where the lieutenant worked require high security clearances.

Both men said Russia and China would be interested in the naval intelligence the lieutenant handled on a daily basis. It would include important data about American naval operations because of the close ties between the two navies.

Spokesmen for the F.B.I., the C.I.A. and the Justice Department in Washington all refused to comment on the case.

Professor Lagassé said it was also possible that Iran, perhaps through an intermediary, might have used the officer to gain information about NATO naval movements near the Middle East.

But if a major security breach has occurred, Professor Lagassé said, Canada will most likely deal with the case as quietly as possible. “If it is a bigger issue,” he said, “the incentive will be for most governments to cover it over.”